I'm not a writer.
I don't even think I'm an artist.
I can't tell you what you're thinking.
And I doubt I can even tell you what I'm thinking.
But maybe if I can try to tell you what I'm feeling I can get you to admit that sometimes, quietly, when no-one else is looking, secretly just before you fall asleep or while you're waiting for a bus, you feel that way too.
All I know is the more I do this the more people seem to agree.
We always feel the need to tell teenagers and children that they'll grow out of this, that when you're older you'll feel better about living in your own skin, that people are kinder and that life isn't so over-whelming, just because that's what they need to hear. The problems occur when these things don't change and you find yourself twenty-something and still feeling the same, but in fact worse because everyone said you'd grow out of it, and you just don't understand what's so wrong with you because you didn't grow out of it.
I find it difficult to take my heart off my sleeve, and I'm slowly giving up on the idea that I can make you understand exactly what is happening in my heart and in my head. I'll always feel a little bit misunderstood and a little bit fragile about showing you words that speak of those sensations that sweep across my body forcing me to stay in bed for days on end.
But this is what I need to avoid. And hopefully showing you will help both of us.
I think these days people are lonelier than any other days. Communication is so flippant. Mostly people aren't really talking but I think that might be because nobody is really listening.
I don't want to dilute what I'm saying any more. Flippancy with anybodies feelings can only end in misery for everybody.
I want you to feel uncomfortable because you never realised that the people you surround yourself with are so fragile and broken. I want you to see how bad it can really get so maybe we can stop this epidemic of emotional isolation.
There will be times in your life where an aching feeling of loss will consume you to the stage where you can't move your feet anymore. I want to prepare you for those times, so they don't feel alien anymore, so you realise that attending to them and sharing them will make everything in the future a little bit easier.
This isn't therapy, or a feminine issue. This is everyone we know, this is every day and it's our emotional well being on the line. And it makes me sad to think that you can't recognise that.
Everything I'm writing is for anyone who has ever felt neglected, or lonely. It's for everyone who ever felt lost along the way. It's not a light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe it's a hand to hold that helps you through the darkness.
I don't even think I'm an artist.
I can't tell you what you're thinking.
And I doubt I can even tell you what I'm thinking.
But maybe if I can try to tell you what I'm feeling I can get you to admit that sometimes, quietly, when no-one else is looking, secretly just before you fall asleep or while you're waiting for a bus, you feel that way too.
All I know is the more I do this the more people seem to agree.
We always feel the need to tell teenagers and children that they'll grow out of this, that when you're older you'll feel better about living in your own skin, that people are kinder and that life isn't so over-whelming, just because that's what they need to hear. The problems occur when these things don't change and you find yourself twenty-something and still feeling the same, but in fact worse because everyone said you'd grow out of it, and you just don't understand what's so wrong with you because you didn't grow out of it.
I find it difficult to take my heart off my sleeve, and I'm slowly giving up on the idea that I can make you understand exactly what is happening in my heart and in my head. I'll always feel a little bit misunderstood and a little bit fragile about showing you words that speak of those sensations that sweep across my body forcing me to stay in bed for days on end.
But this is what I need to avoid. And hopefully showing you will help both of us.
I think these days people are lonelier than any other days. Communication is so flippant. Mostly people aren't really talking but I think that might be because nobody is really listening.
I don't want to dilute what I'm saying any more. Flippancy with anybodies feelings can only end in misery for everybody.
I want you to feel uncomfortable because you never realised that the people you surround yourself with are so fragile and broken. I want you to see how bad it can really get so maybe we can stop this epidemic of emotional isolation.
There will be times in your life where an aching feeling of loss will consume you to the stage where you can't move your feet anymore. I want to prepare you for those times, so they don't feel alien anymore, so you realise that attending to them and sharing them will make everything in the future a little bit easier.
This isn't therapy, or a feminine issue. This is everyone we know, this is every day and it's our emotional well being on the line. And it makes me sad to think that you can't recognise that.
Everything I'm writing is for anyone who has ever felt neglected, or lonely. It's for everyone who ever felt lost along the way. It's not a light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe it's a hand to hold that helps you through the darkness.
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